It's the Season for Falling...

So, I recently signed up for eHarmony... and don't hate. I did it for the personality profile. It's a good one, measuring 29 dimensions of compatibility! Anyway, it asked me what three things I'm most thankful for and being my typical indecisive self, I took an hour to decide.

First on my list: Autumn and the change it represents. I know... It sounds so romantic and deep, right? I couldn't help myself. Seriously though? This is my absolute favorite season. I love this season more than any other season, as it flirts with me, seductively blowing that chilly air in my ear... And all week long, I've worn light jackets and sweaters. The past two days? Overcast, little to no rain, and need I say perfect?

Perfect!

It's late but it's finally fall and I feel that I'm falling in love, with life and everything in it. If the environment really does set my mood, maybe I'll just have to move up north again...

My Second Rhyme

What can be said of these feelings inside?

Born out of Beauty, chasing the night

Feelings of wonder, of love, and of hope,

But also of how I’ve adopted my rope

Bound to my fear, I’ve continued to be

No worse than before, still yet to live free

This someone in me, I’m hoping will bear

More wanting to know, to relate, and to dare

I want to step out, this time, to succeed,

If not to gain these, then only to bleed.

On Breaking Up With My Seasonal Girl

Lately, I've been getting that feeling that milestones are coming to an end, excitement is in the air, and Dick Clark is just around the corner. So, I've prepared myself to give a New Years kiss goodbye to my seasonal girl.

Summer's way too hot for me anyway. And being so, I know she'd leave me soon. Actually, for once, I'd like to up and leave her. If you ask me, I think she's noticed too... Because she seems to stick around longer nowadays, like the half of certain relationships that wants to feel wanted, that needs to feel needed, and takes it too far to get some attention. So she stays a little longer and a little longer and it's suffocating.

As a man who loves cycles, it does happen to be this time of year that feels most like New Years with its confetti made of falling leaves and textbook receipts. Summer is fun, don't get me wrong. Even when we're doing nothing, I enjoy it but I need a change. I need a change for camp-side moods, coats with hoods, and turkey-pumpkin-winter foods. You know? A change for Starbucks runs, college fun, and Bama football run-and-guns. For things that Summer barely knows and places that she rarely goes... but how do I tell her that?

It's not you, it's me?

On Today's Decrease Of Manliness

So, today I decided to take my dad's motorcycle for a drive. I'm not unfamiliar with driving a motorcycle but his is bigger than I'm used to driving. I took it easy at first but, being adventurous, it didn't take long before I decided to hit the main streets of Evergreen, Alabama!

On second thought, maybe I shouldn't have.

I stalled numerous times in front of countless people, burnt my leg on the exhaust and almost laid down the bike in front of an older man cutting his grass. That's almost as embarrassing as when I had to push the bike out of the way of an oncoming truck. At one moment, as I approached a stop sign, I stalled out but played it super cool. A few young construction workers said "Hey!" and "What's up, dude?" and, to feign any problems I had, I quickly shifted gears, restarted, and drove off... feeling like it was smooth but deep down knowing that today was so unmanly.

Yeah, funny but so embarrassing.

On Who I'd Want to Be...

I found in my email, that my dad sent me a quote of the day. He knows that one day I'd like to teach. His note said this:

"The best teacher is the one who suggests rather than dogmatizes, and inspires his listener with the wish to teach himself."
~ Edward Bulwer-Lytton

I love that. You know... He's taught me well too, my dad. He really is an example I'd want to become. Yesterday was his birthday and, as we met for lunch, my grandmother reminded me of a note she passed to me during church a few days ago. We were sitting in a Sunday school class that my Dad teaches and she couldn't get over how much he reminded her of her own father, Papa McGraw. Here he was, showing that he'd become the great example she would have hoped he would. One that her father shared. One that inspires me to teach myself and also to become that sort of teacher.

I hope that I do become that teacher, if not just that sort of father.

On Eating Books and Chips for Dinner

I love PostSecret. Those who send in their secrets never cease to amaze me with their honesty. While many show the serious side of life and learning, other secrets admit some really funny and unusual behavior. Prime example:


It's SO bizarre that I find myself wanting to start doing it! I can't help but picture myself in my room, all alone, finishing a book and then actually considering it. I'd probably get hysterical just for thinking it. Then, to actually do it, I can't imagine how crazy I would feel! I'd probably feel pretty ridiculous... but then again, in the end, wouldn't that be the point? To feel, to experience, no matter how absurd, little things that no one else might understand...

On Living in the Past

I've done a lot of traveling lately. I'd guess I've spent about 100 hours on the road just in the past month. School trips for history's sake, road trips with family, and bus rides to reunite with old friends have made this past month one to remember, and to remember. In all of the traveling, it would appear that for every destination, I haven't been able to avoid that one scenic route we all love to visit: Memory Lane.

It seems longer than I remember. Also, as much as I cherish my return it's a little difficult to drive on. My conservative soul is sensitive and so change can be hard. I really consider myself fortunate to have the experiences I've had and the friends who have come and gone. They make it easy to pass through life wishful that some things will never change.

But oh how they do! It's funny to me how the things I love the most change more often than anything else. I don't know why. Friends move away, family members age, and opportunities to do the things I've wanted seem to slowly disappear. They remind me to take greater advantage of the present, to enjoy the moment, and in that respect, live more fully.